LAGOSIAN CONDUCTOR
Do you know what to expect after a tribal marked Yoruba Lagosian conductor just finished yelling at an elderly man for giving him 500naira for a fare of 50naira, turns and stretches his hand towards you for your fare, and you know you have 1000naira note?
Omo the story no be here...
When he asked me, did you know what I did?
I just started folding my sleeves and trouser and finally said...
"Oga make we kukuma fight."
Omo the story no be here...
When he asked me, did you know what I did?
I just started folding my sleeves and trouser and finally said...
"Oga make we kukuma fight."
DANFO DRIVER AND SEAT BELT...
This has been happening for several years now in Lagos, especially when Fashola came into power as the Governor; forcing every driver to have a seat belt and for anyone that sits in front with the driver, not excluding the danfo drivers. That was when I knew that fan belt or even any rope could also be used a seat belt.
Trust Police, LASTMA, Road Safety men and women, whom before even the governor passed on the decree, started being on the watch out for any scape goat. It has lingered to this day.
Every danfo driver knows every junction to swing into his seat belt. Even the conductors sometimes if the drivers don't, would remind the passenger seated in front to put or maybe wear the seat belt or fan belt available.
Every danfo driver knows every junction to swing into his seat belt. Even the conductors sometimes if the drivers don't, would remind the passenger seated in front to put or maybe wear the seat belt or fan belt available.
So I entered one danfo today on my way back home. We were three in front, the driver, a younger man, and me who seated by the window side. Before we got to a particular junction in a go-slow, the driver quickly twisted himself into his seat belt and called on my attention to please do likewise. I drew out the seat belt, but nothing to hook it with, so as an experienced Lagosian, I sat on it. The driver expressed satisfaction; I'm sure on his mind he would be like, "this guy soji."
After settling down from the stress of pulling out the belt and sitting on it, I asked the driver just to laugh out of boredom about the belt of the young man in our middle.
After settling down from the stress of pulling out the belt and sitting on it, I asked the driver just to laugh out of boredom about the belt of the young man in our middle.
"Oga, this man no get seat belt too?" I started
"E no need seat belt." The driver replied though in Yoruba.
"Haba, why no seat belt na?" I asked again.
"See, na so we dey do am." He replied again in Yoruba. This time, becoming unfriendly in answering my questions.
"E no need seat belt." The driver replied though in Yoruba.
"Haba, why no seat belt na?" I asked again.
"See, na so we dey do am." He replied again in Yoruba. This time, becoming unfriendly in answering my questions.
Wetin concern me, no be laugh I wan laugh...
"Oga so if accident happen now, wetin go hook this man?" I continued.
"See Oga, leave me abeg, na so we dey do am for here, na only u need seat belt. No be to pass those foolish people? Na today u come eko ni..." He continued murmuring to himself.
"See Oga, leave me abeg, na so we dey do am for here, na only u need seat belt. No be to pass those foolish people? Na today u come eko ni..." He continued murmuring to himself.
Na so me and the guy burst into laughter o.
Just then I called on his attention again;
"Oga?..."
"Ehen, kini?" He waited for some seconds before answering me. His response depicted that he was ready to blast me with words.
"That junction dey o." I said politely in Yoruba.
He was relieved and said,
"Okay, I think say u wan ask another question."
I met his relieved gaze, and the three of us bursted into laughter.
As he parked, and as I was trying to alight, he said amidst his laughter;
"Olorire, ofe koba mi. Odaro o jarey..."
"Oga?..."
"Ehen, kini?" He waited for some seconds before answering me. His response depicted that he was ready to blast me with words.
"That junction dey o." I said politely in Yoruba.
He was relieved and said,
"Okay, I think say u wan ask another question."
I met his relieved gaze, and the three of us bursted into laughter.
As he parked, and as I was trying to alight, he said amidst his laughter;
"Olorire, ofe koba mi. Odaro o jarey..."
Omo the small journey sweet me ehn...
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