Why I Am Not Married

https://youtu.be/inWapn_ZkZc

TEARS IN MY DAUGHTER'S EYES

Let me start like this...
I was a coward; I couldn't face my fears and insecurity, but i was man enough to raise my hands on my beloved wife. I was ruthless, heartless and never worthy to be called a father or even a husband, But in all, I've come to strongly believe that when a woman loves, she loves for real... That's why R kelly's "when a woman loves..." remains my favorite song.

Spare me not to bore you with how it all started. Though it happened just the first time about two years ago. I didn't want to do it but I did it anyway. I slapped her! I slapped my wife! She fell to the ground in our room and started to sob.
"why would you slap me?" Was all she repeatedly asked me as she sobbed.
My consciousness suddenly came to the reality of what just happened. What did I do? I hit my wife! I was dumbfounded and confused at the same. I went down on my knees and pleaded for mercies.
"Buchi why? Even if I was all wrong, is it enough to slap me?" She said as tears were trickling down her cheeks.
It was like my world came to an abrupt end. I begged and promised never do it again. She knew I was sorry for my thoughtless action. I drew her close and she held tight to my shirt and sobbed a little more before we laid right where we were and slept off.
One morning about two weeks after that awful incident, I was surprised how it repeated itself again. I hit my wife again. A week later, the same thing happened. The week that followed too. It became a weekly routine. It got to the extend that I stopped apologizing after any hit. Gradually I became an inveterate wife beater.
My precious wife's face was getting disfigured each passing day. Everything was getting worse for me and my life was even against me. We had no more romance. When would I see Neche give me that radiant smile that made my worries flee thousand of miles away.

I was taking my six years daughter, Kamsi, to school after just hitting my wife. It's been quite a while since I took her to school because I was always leaving home very early even before she woke up. But this morning, just like other days when I'd prefer to take her to school myself, I called my office to permit my lateness. My heart was heavy and I was lost in my thought when I heard Kamsi's sweet tiny voice ask me,
"Daddy, I don't like our home again. Why is mummy always crying?"
It felt strange. She had noticed it. I looked at her from the rear-view mirror as she shrank herself into her seat with tears in her eyes. I turned and took a proper but quick look at her, I noticed that my recent beastly self is destroying not just the peace of my family, but also the psychologically being of my i-will-die-for only daughter and child. I felt this cold vibes seeing my daughter's tears.
Silence reigned in my BMW X6 as I was speechless after the sound of her voice. But I knew I had to play on her intelligence just to protect her.
"Kamsi, you know daddy loves you right?" The first words came out.
"Yes. Mummy tells me that."
"Really? When was the last time she told you that?" My eyes were focusing on the road and the rear-view mirror now.
"Yesterday."
"yesterday..." I mumbled out. It's been almost 18months since i became a domestic beast, and my wife, the victim, went about protecting my home, her home, our family, telling our only child that I love her. I couldn't believe my ears. There and then I remembered how we started, Neche and I. I felt real romance for the first time in a long time. A part of me was dead, i knew it.

After dropping Kamsi off at school, I sped off to the office. Everything was seeming to be happening so fast. How would I begin with my apologies? I've done enough havoc. I hated myself and continually bang my steering.
I lost concentration completely through the day at the office. I left early with the excuse that my wife was critically ill. By the time I got home, Kamsi was home already. She was in Neche's arms on the couch when I entered.
"sweetheart, go to your room, your dad is back. I will call you when I'm done with your lunch, okay?" Neche told Kamsi.
Tears hung on Neche's eyelashes and her face was battered, exhibiting the magnitude of my brutality.
"Daddy, mummy is crying again." Kamsi said with tears trickling down her cheek as she ran to me for embrace. I knelt down and hugged her, looked into her eyes and said, "that's why I'm back early sweetheart. Mummy will stop crying okay?" She nodded her head. I hugged her again, her tears soaked my white shirt as I held her little head close to my heart.
"Now, go to your room like mummy said sweetie." She nodded again and Walked to her room quietly with her little school bag clinging at her back.
It was just Neche and I now. I just knelt still where I hugged Kamsi. I couldn't keep my gaze on her, not because she was looking horrible but because I was abaft it. To speak became a very hard thing to do, though this was the moment I had waited for all day. I took a deep breath; I felt very strange.
"baby..." That was the first word that escaped from my mouth.
"I'm sorry, so sorry for everything..." I was still trying to gain balance when she stood up and left for the kitchen.
That was it. I knew it would be hard to achieve reconciliation, even very hard. What would I give as a concrete reason for my inhumane treatment to her? Do I even have any? I remembered Kamsi's tears in the morning, and then a moment ago. I remembered how insecure I suddenly became when she innocently told me about her sudden promotion, I mean Neche, my wife. She had considered quitting her job because her boss was trying to sleep with her- and then the promotion. I felt depressed.

I went into the kitchen to meet her. She was micro waving bean and plantain. She leaned on the wall, and rested her folded hands on her belly. I walked slowly to her. I leaned my left hand on the wall and I tried to touch her with my right hand.
"Baby, we can make us work perfectly again." My right hand gently rested on her left arm now. She closed her eyes immediately I started talking.
"Buchi, please I'm not in for this." she stressed the "please." "If you need sex, come to the room. Kamsi's food is in the microwave." She said and walked out of the kitchen.
I stood there for a while with a numb brain. I managed to switch off the microwave and went to our bedroom.
When I opened the door to our bedroom, Neche was buck naked and was lying on the bed. Her legs were slight apart and her hands were close to her body.
My heart jumped into my belly as I walked in. I had relegated my wife to a sex toy. That was when I knew I had a long way to go in redeeming my wife...

           The remaining thrilling Episodes of this story would always hit this blog on Tuesdays... Stay tuned! Make sure you read to the end!