TAKE A MOMENT TO LAUGH OFF STRESS

LAGOSIAN CONDUCTOR

Do you know what to expect after a tribal marked Yoruba Lagosian conductor just finished yelling at an elderly man for giving him 500naira for a fare of 50naira, turns and stretches his hand towards you for your fare, and you know you have 1000naira note?
Omo the story no be here...
When he asked me, did you know what I did?
I just started folding my sleeves and trouser and finally said...
"Oga make we kukuma fight."   

  

DANFO DRIVER AND SEAT BELT...

This has been happening for several years now in Lagos, especially when Fashola came into power as the Governor; forcing every driver to have a seat belt and for anyone that sits in front with the driver, not excluding the danfo drivers. That was when I knew that fan belt or even any rope could also be used a seat belt.

Trust Police, LASTMA, Road Safety men and women, whom before even the governor passed on the decree, started being on the watch out for any scape goat. It has lingered to this day.
Every danfo driver knows every junction to swing into his seat belt. Even the conductors sometimes if the drivers don't, would remind the passenger seated in front to put or maybe wear the seat belt or fan belt available.

So I entered one danfo today on my way back home. We were three in front, the driver, a younger man, and me who seated by the window side. Before we got to a particular junction in a go-slow, the driver quickly twisted himself into his seat belt and called on my attention to please do likewise. I drew out the seat belt, but nothing to hook it with, so as an experienced Lagosian, I sat on it. The driver expressed satisfaction; I'm sure on his mind he would be like, "this guy soji."
After settling down from the stress of pulling out the belt and sitting on it, I asked the driver just to laugh out of boredom about the belt of the young man in our middle.

"Oga, this man no get seat belt too?" I started
"E no need seat belt." The driver replied though in Yoruba.
"Haba, why no seat belt na?"  I asked again.
"See, na so we dey do am." He replied again in Yoruba. This time, becoming unfriendly in answering my questions.

Wetin concern me, no be laugh I wan laugh...

"Oga so if accident happen now, wetin go hook this man?" I continued.
"See Oga, leave me abeg, na so we dey do am for here, na only u need seat belt. No be to pass those foolish people? Na today u come eko ni..." He continued murmuring to himself.

Na so me and the guy burst into laughter o.

Just then I called on his attention again;
"Oga?..."
"Ehen, kini?" He waited for some seconds before answering me. His response depicted that he was ready to blast me with words.
"That junction dey o." I said politely in Yoruba.
He was relieved and said,
"Okay, I think say u wan ask another question."
I met his relieved gaze, and the three of us bursted into laughter.
As he parked, and as I was trying to alight, he said amidst his laughter; 
"Olorire, ofe koba mi. Odaro o jarey..."

Omo the small journey sweet me ehn...

WHAT I WANT...

I want to have six packs,
Each layer so obvious like the spaces in a rack.
My body built should be as strong as a breastplate,
But as soft as a pillow for a soulmate.
Wealth, the perfection to make me the man,
And my steps so manly like I follow the rythm of a parade band

I wanna be as tall as saul,
The tenderness of my touch, a seduction which should lore,
Then what if dimples crest my cheeks
And my eyes as perfect as they are when I wink.
Imagine me with white set of teeth
Even the devil would smile at me with no evil objective
Red succulent lips is no more a prayer
Also in possession is faithfullness not to be a player.

Should I possess a dark or a blonde hair?
Each strand glittering like when the rising morning stares.
Soft beards for bedtime tickling with no rush.
Just the thought of me should make her blush.
Adventures, her opportunities to be with me forever in a flash of light
When in bare bodies, I should always be the man to win in the fight...

Well, I want to be me. I'm more perfect than I will ever want... #winks

DEBACLE

...The birds flew higher into the sky; like the birds he watched, Obum stretched his hands wide open with his eyes closed. A call from his mother interrupted his fantacy.
"Obum!" His mother called from the kitchen. Egusi pottage was on the fire. "Take this bowl to mama Nkem, tell her I sent you."
Amanda stirred the soup on the fire, sweat created pathways on her face. She wiped the old pathways off her face with her wrapper for the creation of new ones as she stirred the boiling soup.
Chimanda, a mother of one and the only wife of the great warrior and farmer, had her lips as her honey-pot. They were red and soft and she knew just how to pout them to either softened Ikedirim's boiling heart when he was angry or reduced the warlord to a sex machine.

"You are my strength." Her eardrums always vibrated at the sound of Ikedirim's baritone after reaching orgasm, then her laps would respond and shiver in pleasure.
The ecstacy of the pleasurable sex she had with her energetic chappie eight days ago ran through her lustful mind as she smiled intermittently at the boiling soup on fire; probably watching a clip of their sexual act in her pot of soup. She was indeed on the qui vive for a hotter pleasure.

Obum took his stick from his one-wheel *vehicle*, wore the bowl on his head like a hat, relieved the wall from the infinitesimal pressure of the tyre that leaned on it, and off he went as he hit the tyre with the stick he held firmly in his right hand and controlled the tyre's direction with his left hand. He rode down to mama Nkem's house in excitement. He was going to be thrown up and suspended in the air for some few seconds again then back to his father's trustful hands on his arrival- a feeling he loved so much.
Obum arrived home within a twinkle of an eye. He never wanted to miss his father's arrival because his father could get busy with friends famili, and well wishers and he would lose the opportunity to be thrown up.
"Obum is that you?" Amanda's voice asked from the bathroom. She spat out the lather whichbtried to get into her mouth.
"Yes. The fufu is in the basket in the kitchen."
"That's my boy, thank you."
Amanda took all the time in the world to make herself look posh and attractive for her husband, Onye-ike", like the villagers call him.

The sound of the gong faintly hit the eardrums of Ikedirim's household. The long awaited time finally arrived. A sweet sensation ran through Amanda's sexy body sitting on her bambo bed. Her sweat pores immediately pumped out sweat. She imagined to see her husband's bold eyes run through her body in lust, she gave herself a solely and passionate hug as she stood and headed to the exit door post.
Obum suddenly, when he heard the sound, opened his left eye while the right eye remained closed and his ears stood erect. He stopped breathing so he could hear effectively. The sound came yet again, again and again... Obum quickly emptied the bucket of water on his body. His towel did the proper cleaning as he rushed out of the bathroom to his room.

The sound could be heard from a closer range now, but the sound was seldom heard in all the village; not as swanky as it should be when a warrior came back home victoriously. Cold vibes shook off the sensation of her posh self. She pictured a defeated look in her husband's face. That was going to be the first she would see after her ten years of marriage to him. The long awaited love to be made for pleasure was now going to be for compensation, she admitted.

When the sound was next compound away, women ran into Ikedirim's compound in tears, some started rolling on the floor hitting the ground, while the rest ran towards her and fell just beside her mourning. Amanda furrowed her eyes at the sorrowful display. She suddenly felt Obum's little fingers holding on to her already sweating right palm. "When has it become a tabboo to be defeated in a fight?" She reasoned, because she was not going to give in to think of the worst that will happen.

She raised her head immediately she heard the voice of the great Dibia, Igbegiri, making his incantations at the top of his voice, his head swerving to to the right and to the left. Just after him were four men with leafs held in their mouths, carrying a stretcher made of bamboo. Looking at who the stretcher carriers were was a waste of time to clear her confusion, her focus was on the hefty man lieing on the stretcher.
Gently, the men put down the stretcher. The elders surrounded the stretcher with their hands held across their chest or back, hiding their necks in their shoulders. Amanda slowly walked to where the stretcher was laid, lo and behold, it was Ikedirim's body lieing lifeless...

Speechless she stood, clueless she was, how would she now cope with the sudden twist of event???

This is a part culled our of my incoming novel, DEBACLE. The full story will unveil every hidden truth about Ikemdiri's (Onye-ike) death. It will be out next year by God's grace. Stay tuned.

FREEDOM

Have you been in or to a prison or at least the police cell before?
NO?
For a few seconds, have a thought of it. Think about the bondage, restriction, limitation, and the dearth of FREEDOM. The usage of your time is determined by people who don't care about you, and you are forced to do things against your wish. I bet you, it's not a sweet thought or experience. The emotional trauma alone that one is encaged and limited is enough to cause total darkness in the mind of that victim...

...But...

...You know my friend, many of us suffer same, though we claim we ain't prisoners.

What is the difference between us and those prisoners when every of our steps are decided by our parents, friends, mentors, pastors, lovers, employers, etc? I tell you, nothing. We are still prisoners and the people who decide for us are jailers.

I discussed with a friend some days back about life. During the discussion, I decided to ask him why his enterprise was named LIBERTY. He smiled and dropped his head. You know such smiles which tell clearly that you've entered the memory lane. He raised his head up again and told me,
"I was in bondage, but now I'm liberated."
I knew he was working for someone when he decided to break out and stand on his own.
"You mean when you were with your former boss?" I asked.
"Exactly!" He said almost immediately."Even starting from when I started learning what I do now. Nothing like FREEDOM man, and the word, LIBERTY, means a lot to me."

Hey, if we don't learn to be dependent, see things ourselves, make and take decisions on our own, fight and win battles of the mind ourselves, get our own experiences, make our own mistakes, break our limitations, see beyond our horizon, make our own mistakes, then we need not go to the prison to see a prisoner.

Don't think you can't stand or do it on your own, you simply haven't tried it. Imagine how amazing it would feel like to be your own boss. That's FREEDOM!!!

This is what we should always do; get advice when necessary from people, analyze it, construct your strategy, and take your steps.

Nobody should take it for you or tell you where, how, why and when to take it. Its yours, be free to own it. That's FREEDOM!!!

WHAT IS THEN THE MEANING IF LIFE?

Just trying to dive into the mystery of life - One lives today and tomorrow, he dies.

what's then the meaning of life? why live in the first place?

Some say we are on earth to praise and worship God, ARE WE REALLY? He has the host of heaven, angel and elders doing that already.

And failure to oblige, a lake of fire will await one. that's tragedy!

with the way the world is going, I'm sure the love of many is waxing cold, and most people don't even have the love in the first place. So when I see or hear people celebrate a new born baby, I wonder if the baby will appreciate his birth after the end of his life. Wasted Years!!!

why can't we just die and rest in peace as we normally wish the dead, in peace like other animals?

#reallythinking...

JUST BE YOU

In a world having different shades of events, only the daring Conquer. It is only after a good fight can victory be declared.

Everyone has got purpose and set goals but only few can bravely Combat it through. You know why???
>>> Life is a task which demands a tactful, Persistent, disciplined, unwavering and focussed warrior to embark on<<<...
      
This warrior goes against odds to hunt his dreams regardless what life Orients on his table. He dines through difficulties, Pauperism, oppositions, criticisms, slander, enigma, discouragement, theorem, hopelessness just to see his dreams play in reality. He doesn't concede his dreams being locked up in d walls of  Marriage neither does he entertain it being choked by the pressures and criticisms of friends/people around him. He doesn't give in to the Changes of his environs neither does he get vulnerable to the tempting Overtures life tends to cajole him with...
He dares to sprout,
He dares to ramify,
He dares to unravel,
He dares to Pullulate,
He dares to Pursue,
He dares to Feud,
He dares to Mêlée,
He dares to fight and
He dares to Conquer!!!!
               
You could be this Warrior. I can be this Warrior, We Should be this warrior!

Don't stop aiming. Keep being innovative and creative..Don't stop Dreaming, Reading, Seeing, viewing, Thinking, asking, Seeking, Listening, Pursuing, Traveling, Surfing, Mingling, Writing, Believing, Trusting, and above all LIVING. Don't be Static!! Be Dynamic and Phenomenal!!!

FOR IT TAKES YOU TO BE THE YOU YOU WANT TO BE!!!

#Develop YOURself
#Add Value to YOUR Life
#Sharpen YOUR Fighting tools
#Sterilise YOUR dream Gadgets
#Be a Boss of YOUR Mind.

TEARS IN MY DAUGHTER'S EYES (Episode VI)

I quietly walked closer behind Neche, and then stretched my hands to get a soft hold of her ribs just under her arms. She responded to stimulus and sprang on her waist and chest out as soon as my palms came in contact with her body.
"Jesus!" She said almost out of her breath as she turned, maybe to be ready for my hit with an obvious gesture.
When she saw I was calm with my remorseful facial expression as an evidence, she allowed the extruded air she gathered from the response to stimulus freely leave through her nostrils. I pushed my hands gently further below her boobs to get my hands round her.
"I'm so sorry I scared you" I said with little or no confident that she would let me hold her peacefully.
She kept mute and became stiff which really surprised me. I obviously did not know anything about my wife anymore. I had no more clue of what her gestures and smiles meant. I  moved my head to her hair and then to her right ear. I pushed her hair to a side with my face so I would to kiss her neck and ear, and to coo into her ear. I discovered that her hair didn't give my nose the pleasant smell of her hair lotion, it smelt dry and rusty.
"Kamsi is happy already because I've told her you are going with us today." I cooed.
I moved the location of my hands to her arms, and then traced her palms which were resting on the brim of the bowl she was washing with. I squeezed them softly and started perking her earlobes. I moved on to her cheek. To get to her lips, I turned her gently and perked her.
"Please go get dressed, leave the washing for me to complete." I said in her mouth.
I noticed she held my shirt like she wanted more kisses, but I reminded myself that she had become unpredictable, and advised myself not to push further so I won't spoil the progress so far.
She let go her soft grip on my shirt after a few minutes, ran her tongue on her lips and then cleaned her lips with the back of her palms before leaving to dress up. I turned to watch her leave innocently. I took a deep breath of relieve. I quickly turned again and started washing the plates as quickly as I could that I wetted myself with the lather from the washing bowl.

I headed to our room immediately after washing. I did a sign of the cross as I got to the doorpost of our room before opening the door. She was already dressed up . She was flicking off the dust on a face cap she wanted to wear.
"Are you through?" I asked just to make her say something.
She walked towards the door which told me it was a yes. I rushed to get the door opened for her. She didn't appreciate it like she always did, it got to me though but I swallowed and buried it immediately like it didn't happen.
She counted her steps as she walked down the stairs. I watched her closely, and for the first time in a long time, I saw her beauty And the features that attracted me to her in the first place. Her beautiful legs that are my greatest turn on which protruded out of her fitted black skirt took turns to step on the transparent tiles on the staircase as she descended, her hips which were perfectly round without stretch mark, and I pictured her laps and boobs. I was turned on a little sexually. And I remember the times we made love on the staircase. I smiled in lust.
I came back to reality as soon as she took the first step off the stairs. I hurriedly held the handle of the entrance and exit door in the parlour.
"Baby," I said as she approached. "I still love you so much. I don't want to lose. You are my life."
She kept mute knowing full well I needed a response. I tried to hold her palm when she spoke up.
"Buchi I know!" She said looking at me in the eyes with a mean face which had traces of deceitful smile.
I opened the door after a few seconds looking at her in the eyes to see how remorseful I was. She stepped out, and I closed the door behind me.

Kamsi's face glowed as Neche approached the car. I opened the door for her, and she majestically hopped in. She smiled deceptively at our innocent daughter as she settle in the jeep.

Seated in the car, the three of us, I looked at Kamsi, who was filled with excitement, from the rear mirror...

In life...

In life,
You need either inspiration or desperation Set either expectations or get limitation 
Hustler's life is a school of hard knocks
And to get in you need no examination
Always from within comes the best motivation
Best remedy for stormy seas and hard rocks
What is worse than a life without resperation
You have to pay your own quota like contribution
Life is a jail, so many convictions
It kills us
A thousands walk down the valley of retribution
And hell still woos us
Undeterred, we know heaven is our destination
So we shine like stars so it wouldn't miss us

BE CAREFUL, SOCIAL MEDIA IS JUST A FALSE WORLD

I've watched and seen a marriage counsellor lose her home.
I know of a comedian who died of high blood pressure.
I've heard and seen people who present themselves as pastors but are very far from the truth on social media.
I've read people's  post on social media about a particular lifestyle, habit, character, person, career, topic, name them, which they might have seen or heard people exhibit, but have virtually no experience in or knowledge about. They just type and post because they gat the freedom, like they perfect. Who doesn't have flaws? I keep asking.
I've been in different studios and see ladies come with a bag or bags full of clothes for just snap shots to flaunt their sexiness and to prove to people that they are expensive on social media.
I've seen people pose behind the steering of a car they don't own, in places or people they are opportune to be with or see, just to intimidate others with their opportunities...

I've seen and heard a lot...

In all, social media is just a false place to socialise. The more our friends list increases, the more friendless we become. Most of us are just the opposite of the life we exhibit on social media.

We preach no to sex but love the feeling, preach peace and unity but nurse hatred in our hearts and are in cold war with a few people, preach what is ideal but not realistic. We castigate, condemn, and judge people's effort.
I discovered that they do this out of envy, inferiority complex, lack of vision, self worth, quest to compete, and lack of experience.

Beautiful ladies keep piling up likes and comments, but the uglier ones keep walking down the isle every Saturday.
Every lady's dream is to get the rich guy for a husband who will take them to places and buy them anything withing the reach of money. Then I ask "how many of the guys out there are in this class of wealth? But they keep getting married."
An ideal world against reality, all in their minds.

It pains me that some people fall prey to these lies. Truthfully, I have too. Most times I wish to be like them, and deny my big dreams...

...But then I realise they just can't be me and I can't be them either. It's their life. Why compare myself with them then? So I've come to learn to be consistent in what I do, have patience and endurance, aim high, and have faith. And when it's time, my achievements will announce me.

Social media is just world which has been falsified. Be careful and be strict in what you take in from social media.

BY THE BOOK...

I have a book filled with many good rhymes,
I enjoy reading it a lot of times.
The words lift my spirit and delight my heart,
When I feel down they touch my heart.
"Be at peace with God whatever you conceive Him to be."
Allows me to worship God in a manner meaningful to me.
"Live simply, expect little, give much, sing much, pray always.
Is a wonderful way to live each and every day.
"Life is a mixture of sunshine and rain."
Encourages me, if I stumble or fail, to try again.
"Keep pressing on though you feel like stopping."
Makes me keep going when I feel like dropping.
"When the funds are low, and the debts are high..."
I pray to God, and on Him rely.
"Apologize if you are wrong."
Makes any relationship very strong.
"Luck is where opportunity meets preparation."
I must keep my mind open to another's suggestion.
"No one can afford to lose a valued friend."
Settle any rift or quarrel and be a friend to the end.
"Hope; deprived of hope a person is lost."
Remain optimistic no matter the cost.
"You can't further the love of nations with hatred."
Make hate of any kind something to dread.
"The winner says it may be difficult but it is possible."
Pray to God because, through Him, all things are possible.
"It's not a successful person's aptitude but his attitude."
Remember to show respect and never be rude.
These quotes and many more give me joy and liberty,
But none so much as knowing God watches over me.

THE WOMAN ON THE HILL

She lives alone high on the hill,
Where everything is calm, quiet, and still.
The house is not lavish but it is her own,
It's situated so the best view is shown.
No matter where you look out from her land,
Your eyes drink in scenery that is totally grand.
She says she is a genius and very creative,
Perhaps she is, I've seen her art on her walls where she lives.
Her sense of humour is unusual for sure.
It's a passion from her to people to help and cure.
She truly is a little strange woman - one of a kind,
With a productive and clever mind.
Poetry floats out of her from time to time,
She always sways to the music's rhythm and rhyme.
She is down to earth and her mind opened,
Sometimes the odd person she may offend.
She speaks her mind honestly trying to be kind,
Then again, she doesn't search for the right words to find.
She has a strong belief in her God above.
She tries to be a living example of His love.
Her energy is fiery and full of zest.
Living life to the fullest is her greatest conquest.
Her heart is free, her spirit is light,
Her unfettered ways gives her delight.
If you meet her stop and talk a while,
You will walk away with the broadest smile.
You will love this lady from high on the hill,
Every one does so I know you will.

Written by Spark

TEARS IN MY DAUGHTER'S EYES V

My response was silence. I looked at Neche with no word bold enough to leave my lips; I was speechless. My life has crumbled right in front of my eyes. What excuse will I give now? I almost hit her again. Maybe I had developed that as an habit. But that wasn't the kind of marriage I had bragged to my friends about. The best man on earth she confessed I was the night of our wedding has turned to the worst nightmare she could ever experience in life.
I remembered there and then that her view of men who beat their wives was insecurity, and the solution she preferred was either the man to level up or romantically brings the woman down to the level he wants. A tear trickled down my left cheek.
It was evident that she chose to be happy in her marriage than the promotion which would screw it. No doubt, she loved me. She had proven it time and time again. Was it the fact that she agreed to marry me when I had nothing but a plan to my future, Or how she lost her job when she was taking care of me in the hospital, or now that she let go her promotion for me, or the her negligence to leave as I became a beast? Many more I know but sentimentally refused to count.

I walked away quietly to our bedroom. There was a large picture of us, Neche and I, of our wedding ceremony on the door of our wardrobes. I started remembering how we started like it was yesterday. I began to sob. I sobbed so hard that my eyes were swollen within a twinkle of an eye.
I remembered I was to take Kamsi to school that morning, so I forced myself not to sob anymore. I plodded into the bathroom with pity for myself. The first droplets of water that hit my face gave me a soothing feeling that I uncontrollably moaned aloud. I allowed them to rain more as I tried to catch my breath.
I took much time in the bathroom because I wasn't just taking my bath but also in deep thought about how my life would be after Neche would be gone. I felt the heat of hell in that thought.
I counted my steps to Kamsi's room. I hadn't even rapped at the door the second time, when I heard her radiant voice greet me.
"Good morning daddy. Come in!"
I had no choice than to open the door with smiles on my face.
Neche had gotten her dressed up already as usual, but was buckling her sandals when I walked in.
"Hey sweetheart, how are you. Hope you slept well?"
"yes daddy!" she said all smiling.
I gave her a perk on her forehead, and truthful enough, her smile was so broadened That I smiled from my heart for the first time in a long time in my house.

I opened the car door for Kamsi who in excitement hopped in. I looked at Neche who was outside smiling at Kamsi. I walked up to her and said;
"Baby, please let's take a ride together." I'm not going to work today, we can take a ride."
Neche looked at me with a smile on her face that was fighting to be real. She turned and walked back inside. I was confused at first, then I remembered that Kamsi would have been watching. I turned back immediately, and of course she was. I smiled and approached her.
"Seems like mummy will be going out with us today." I said and gave her that kiddie gesture of excitement.
Kamsi leaped for joy on hearing that, and stretched forth her hand for an embrace. I reciprocated.
"I love you daddy!" she screamed.
"I love you too sweetie." I replied with another perk on her forehead."
We waited for a while but Neche wasn't forth coming, so I decided to know what was wrong.
"sweetheart, seems like I have to go help mummy prepare faster." I said looking at her beautiful set of eyes just like Neche's.
"Okay daddy." she replied innocently.

I walked in to find Neche in the kitchen washing the dishes. I was surprised. "Could it be that I don't even know my wife's gestures anymore or has she changed some if not all?" I asked "God knows who" in my surprised state.
"Baby, I thought u agreed to accompany me to go drop off Neche." I asked Neche this time still in my surprised state.
"Well that's your thought, I'm sorry I changed my mind."
"Baby, let's be strong and fight for our lost love please. I know we can do it."
Neche just looked at me and continue with the washing...

Stay tune for Episode VI.