THE BROKEN ME

THE BROKEN ME

Saying I know where to start from is a big lie,

I can’t even arrange them up in a big file,

They are numerous that they take more than a life time to narrate.

And eternity to write.

Is it when I was weak nearly to death,

When all I could do was to wake up and stare,

Laying there with tears rolling down my face, alone in my little bed.

With my skinny self, boney flesh and bulging eye,

When everyone around had a count of when I would die.

When I was beaten to the ground by rejection,

Inferiority complex became my tagged companion,

Loneliness taken over by frustration,

When death felt like my best and last option.

I cried at the very sound of the knock of responsibility,

Knowing fully well how broken I was in poverty,

I desired peace and happiness from my abode but, it was afar of and a distance away to reach.

Left alone to wrath and waste in the ditch with no one to run to for help with no person to meet for aid, to sleep, wake and starve and the spot I was laid.

When a place amongst dogs and pigs was my portion,

Every little action of mine caused grave disgust and painful reactions,

Keeping every scar, pain, bite, pierce, wound, objection, reaction,

To my pity self.

Because the state of my soul is more pathetic.

For what is worse than being alive and not existing amongst life.

Every day and night I go down on my knees, with tears rolling down my cheeks

Crying for that pain I feel inside, screaming and calling his name,

“I’m here again with my bag of shame, a load to heavy I wonder if I alone is to blame,

          You alone lord know my heart desire,

          You know the burning love I have for you,

I know doing it all by myself will be so wrong, but why keep silent for so long L

To your word I’ll dance, sing and applaud, in fervent anticipation I always wait for your touch and call, but as obvious as it seems the future of my body and soul is blur   : /

For even in my dying bed, I promise to pray no matter the cost

I’ll pray and believe faithfully in what your word said, and that great loss

For I know your promise can never fail.

On that boat of eternal peace, I’ll one-day sail.

Written by WAYNEE