LAGOS NAWA!
Let me pen this page again, its been a while.
I keep saying it; inasmuch as Lagos is filled with stresses and even frustration, it has a way of making you smile at least.
That was how I was in a bus going back home from church, I sat behind a young guy and a lady.
"Celle Express! Celle Express!..." The conductor kept shouting at Ikotun round about, calling for passengers.
"Beautiful hair you gat." The guy spoke in a very romantic way, and of course, the lady blushed, then tilted her head to the right as she pushed some strands of hair backward
I knew they met in that bus because the way the guy rearranged himself like he said "I die here with this babe" when the lady blushed.
Well, that wasn't my business, after all, she is half as beautiful as my girlfriend.
Soon enough, an old Niger Delta man sat close to the lady just before the last passenger came on board. Our bus was filled, then most of us who sat in the bus for long in the scorching sun waiting for other passengers took in breath of relief.
Everyone kept a straight face except the conductor, whose left arm clung to the roof of the danfo. He was just shouting like those very loud conductors.
"Owo mi da? (Where is my money?) The conductor began to collect our fares.... Let me cut it here, that's not where I'm going.
THE EVENT!!!
Breeze gushed into the bus as the driver took off. Some loosed item were being displaced. A Yoruba woman started exclaiming, "ah ah ah! É ma GBA mi!!" as the tried to catch her flying 200naira note she kept on top of her bag.
The breeze was becoming much that the lady's hair started flying (you know na). Her hair flew into the old man's mouth without her notice. I watched how the man made efforts to spit it out, and then cleaned his mouth with his hand as he looked angrily at the lady, who was innocently enjoying the guy's gist. I wanted to laugh, but I fought real hard to hold my peace.
The hair didn't stop there o. It started flying across the old man's face. I watched as he struggled to keep her flying hair calm - playing the gentleman game. It was when the hair flew into his mouth the second time that he flared up.
He pushed the lady's head gently to one side. "Abeg carry this your mammy water head go one side." He kept his calm after saying that and concentrated on the road.
Na there the man wake up trouble wey dey sleep...
I could see the spark inside the lady's head. "Oga, what's your problem? Why will you bring your family problem into a public bus as this? Don't you ever try to touch me again! It's your daughter who is a mammy water!...
She wouldn't stop o.
The old man was just speaking amid her yelling. "If you no carry mammy water head, I go talk?..."
The shouting lingered for a very long time. Mr. Romantic was speechless and clueless on what to do. I pitied him especially when he started looking at the old man anyhow...
The lady alighted from the bus, still talking about the issue, when we got to her bus-stop.
THE RIB CRACK
What broke the camel's back was the way and manner he guy looked at the man when he shifted to occupy the lady's position close to the guy. He looked at the man from the top of his hair to the sole of his feet.
I couldn't hold it, I had to laaaaauuuggghhhhh!!!! LOL
My guy was angry simply because he didn't collect her number....lol...
Let me pen this page again, its been a while.
I keep saying it; inasmuch as Lagos is filled with stresses and even frustration, it has a way of making you smile at least.
That was how I was in a bus going back home from church, I sat behind a young guy and a lady.
"Celle Express! Celle Express!..." The conductor kept shouting at Ikotun round about, calling for passengers.
"Beautiful hair you gat." The guy spoke in a very romantic way, and of course, the lady blushed, then tilted her head to the right as she pushed some strands of hair backward
I knew they met in that bus because the way the guy rearranged himself like he said "I die here with this babe" when the lady blushed.
Well, that wasn't my business, after all, she is half as beautiful as my girlfriend.
Soon enough, an old Niger Delta man sat close to the lady just before the last passenger came on board. Our bus was filled, then most of us who sat in the bus for long in the scorching sun waiting for other passengers took in breath of relief.
Everyone kept a straight face except the conductor, whose left arm clung to the roof of the danfo. He was just shouting like those very loud conductors.
"Owo mi da? (Where is my money?) The conductor began to collect our fares.... Let me cut it here, that's not where I'm going.
THE EVENT!!!
Breeze gushed into the bus as the driver took off. Some loosed item were being displaced. A Yoruba woman started exclaiming, "ah ah ah! É ma GBA mi!!" as the tried to catch her flying 200naira note she kept on top of her bag.
The breeze was becoming much that the lady's hair started flying (you know na). Her hair flew into the old man's mouth without her notice. I watched how the man made efforts to spit it out, and then cleaned his mouth with his hand as he looked angrily at the lady, who was innocently enjoying the guy's gist. I wanted to laugh, but I fought real hard to hold my peace.
The hair didn't stop there o. It started flying across the old man's face. I watched as he struggled to keep her flying hair calm - playing the gentleman game. It was when the hair flew into his mouth the second time that he flared up.
He pushed the lady's head gently to one side. "Abeg carry this your mammy water head go one side." He kept his calm after saying that and concentrated on the road.
Na there the man wake up trouble wey dey sleep...
I could see the spark inside the lady's head. "Oga, what's your problem? Why will you bring your family problem into a public bus as this? Don't you ever try to touch me again! It's your daughter who is a mammy water!...
She wouldn't stop o.
The old man was just speaking amid her yelling. "If you no carry mammy water head, I go talk?..."
The shouting lingered for a very long time. Mr. Romantic was speechless and clueless on what to do. I pitied him especially when he started looking at the old man anyhow...
The lady alighted from the bus, still talking about the issue, when we got to her bus-stop.
THE RIB CRACK
What broke the camel's back was the way and manner he guy looked at the man when he shifted to occupy the lady's position close to the guy. He looked at the man from the top of his hair to the sole of his feet.
I couldn't hold it, I had to laaaaauuuggghhhhh!!!! LOL
My guy was angry simply because he didn't collect her number....lol...
