While growing up as a young adolescence in the streets, one orientation I got is “girls are the same.” I wondered why such a phrase would ever be imagined in the first place. Well, it already existed, so I got no choice to either beat past it or join them in preach it.
I used to think that I would not have a girlfriend until I want to get married. Did someone just smile? Well, I used to.
I had my first girlfriend eleven years ago after so many pressures from my friends. So many stories had been told, so I didn’t just want to be a listener but also a narrator. Never will I forget that I avoided having a girlfriend while in secondary school because I knew she would demand sex which I wasn’t ready to indulge in, I avoided going to parties, club, or anywhere that was exposed to having even the thought of it.
I joined my friends in the quest to explore our adolescence exuberance, although I had my stand of not indulging in sex until my wedding night. The first girlfriend I had then wanted us to make out as lovers which I strongly negated, she wasn’t happy about it, and that was how I had my first break up. I met and lost a few girls which were birds of a feather with the first. That was when I was forced to start believing that all girls could really be the same. Since I was forced to believe that all girls are the same, I had to start dancing to their tune.
But are all girls really the same?
“Yes, they are! They only want you for your money, swag, fame, and handsomeness (this one is really leaving the market of preference now).” A guy strongly opined when we were all discussing as teens. So many other guys I have met have this as a fact, so they really don’t care much about love. Some don’t even believe love exists in the first place.
What about guys, are they all the same?
Well, I am a guy, so I shouldn’t be the speaker here. But from experience and my dealings with ladies, I should have a say without sentiment. I met a lady about six years ago, who was in tears that she just had a break up. She caught her boyfriend cheating with her friend. She had a couple more and out of frustration of failure to secure a true love, she confessed to me that all guys are the same. I begged her to give it a last shot before opting in to become a lesbian she had made up her mind to become. And yet again, she gave me another reason why guys are the same. “They just want the sex!”
So many ladies are also in the same page with this lady I met that all guys are the same.
THE FACT
One thing we should all know is the fact that guys discuss among themselves, and ladies also discuss among themselves. Each party sum up the experiences of its member to lay hold on what they believe is a fact- fallacy of generalization. The same way we accord dirtiness and sabotage to Yorubas, lovers of money to Igbos, people behaving like cows to Hausas. But we always forget to accord them with respect. The Yorubas have the most graduates in the country, The Igbos are an industrious and born to survive people, and the Hausa supply fruits and ingredients and meats to the country.
What am I saying in essence?
The fact you’ve met about ten wrong guys doesn’t mean there are no good guys out there. Work more on yourself and be expectant and vigilant to notice him when he finally arrives. Do not dwell on the closed doors behind you not to notice the opened doors before you- so says a wise man.
Let me end with this.
Anyone who left me definitely is either not good for me or is too good for me. I don’t force anyone to stay with me because everyone has got a choice to make. But when they leave, will they still have a niggling regret that they should have stayed? Now, it depends on who you have developed yourself to be.
Take time to build up yourself mentally, psychologically, physically, emotionally, spiritually, and socially. Make anyone who leaves you feel foolish rather than smart because a man making ridges doesn’t really notice if he doesn’t want to notice who is watching him, walking away from him, abusing him, or even having a cold war with him. That’s what we should all be busy doing. I’m sure the cliché of “all guys are the same” and “all girls are the same” will go into extinction.
