Friday, February 16, 2018

10 THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER DO AFTER A BREAK-UP

Needless to say that love is a beautiful thing, and being in love is one of the best if not the feeling one can possibly enjoy. When it comes to romantic love, people fall in and out of it (though sometimes, it may not really be falling out of love; it could be that the flow in the relationship is stagnant or retarding. What people do mostly at this stage especially when it's not marriage is they quit instead of to work it out).

Whether they quit or not is based on choice. But for this article, let's educate ourselves on post break-up.

There is this popular saying now in this century, "love with heart, but also with your brain." Believe it or not, that's the best thing to do especially now when true love is hardly given out and/or when armatures start a relationship. Initially, people fall in love because they couldn't help it, but in our days, we keep fall in love because everyone out there is in a relationship trying to see if it would work out well.

no doubt, the innocents have been stung by those who really are not ready to love but to play around. so I believe this is for them, and this is how to take it and what to do. I tell my friends and those whom I've been opportune to talk with after their break that consciously or unconsciously, the person who would demand for the break-up had communicated it to his/her spouse. But the sweet feeling of love could be blinding that the thought of break-up is shove away even before it gets to the heart.

I think I've talked enough, so, let's look at these things you should never do after a break-up.

1. Stay ‘friends’

If there was only one thing we could tell you about what not to do after a break-up this would be it. Staying friends with your ex post break-up is a terrible idea. If it’s because you feel guilty, then all you’re doing is leading them on. And if it’s because you think you have a chance of getting back together then you’re just setting yourself up for more hurt.
Potentially, you might salvage a friendship from the wreckage some time down the line, but when you’re emotionally raw you need time apart from the source of your hurt. If you burnt your hand on a fire, you wouldn’t return to the fire to try and soothe your burn would you?

2. Pretend everything is OK

There are times for stiffening your upper lip but this isn’t one of them. Let it all out on your nearest and dearest, and don’t feel ashamed about it. You need to grieve the loss of the relationship – if you don’t you’ll find it even harder to move on. This process might seem embarrassing but ultimately showing your emotions will help you grow emotionally. Plus, sometimes there’s nothing more cathartic than a good old cry.

3. Give up

Your failed relationship is not worth you giving up on life and love. It can feel like you’ll never meet someone special ever again, but don’t resign yourself to a lifetime of singledom.
Love ebbs and flows, it’s not a one-time only experience. Give yourself time to recover and then, when you’re ready, you can start looking for love again. You WILL feel better, trust us.

4. Haircuts, piercings, tattoos….

We all know at least one person who’s had a break-up makeover. Sometimes it works, but usually cutting off your long blonde locks and dying your new crop black just to show you’re a ‘new’ person becomes something you regret.
The same applies to piercings and especially to tattoos. You might not think it, but your idea for a new tattoo design may well be rooted in your heartache. So, maybe wait a while before getting ‘Life’s a Bitch’ inked on your thigh.

5. Check up on your partner

We know; you’ve spent months or even years knowing almost every detail of your partner’s life and now, nothing. You’ve been totally cut off. But whatever you do, try to resist the temptation to keep a foothold in their life by checking up on them. This is especially important if you have mutual friends; asking your friends to let you know how he or she is doing or whether they’ve been spotted with anyone else is just asking for trouble and delaying your recovery. Instead, ask your friends to respect your break-up and keep the conversation away from your ex. Focus on your own life and try to stop thinking about what they may or may not be doing without you.

6. Stalk your ex

Social media has opened up our world and helped us keep in touch with friends, family and people we didn’t even know we wanted to know. However, what it’s also done is given us some great tools for ‘spying’ on certain people. Promise yourself two things: that you won’t post anything (however cryptic) about the break-up online, and that you won’t check your exes status/page/twitter feed/Pinterest board obsessively. If you can’t be trusted then defriend or unfollow your ex. In fact, this is something we’d suggest you do as a matter of course. Better safe than sorry.


7. Get your own back

Revenge always seems like the best or even one sweet thing to do to make up for your losses caused by someone else. But revenge, it shows you are weak. It shows you have nothing to offer and it even suggests to your ex that he/she is all your get. one very bad thing about revenge is that it could you into a problem you never would have bargained for.

8. Have sex with your ex

Though it depends on why the break up happened in the place, however, whatever it is, having sex to lure them into staying back will haunt you after they decide to still move on. You will feel used afterwards, and be filled with bitterness.
Sex with a friend

9. Have sex with a friend

In all honesty, I see it in the same basket of robbing Peter to pay Paul. You are going to be in a worse state even after that. Yes, I know you want to get relieved, but the end result will get you in a retarded situation. Having sex with a friend after a break-up is just a great idea, because he/she could see you to be that. And that alone is a load of its own to carry aside your break-up.

10. Beg them to take you back

Begging them is always like pouring water in a basket and expecting it to hold up water. They are gone, understand this and live on. Study your self worth, and see they don't even deserve you in the first place. Do not at any time beg anyone to stay with you, let them go; if they are meant to come back, they will definitely come back.

A BIT OF US

I was at the airport the other day and saw some white men with  their bags walking towards the terminal for their announced flig...